(BPT) - Key takeaways:
- Sandwich generation caregivers are challenged with care, costs and concerns for two generations simultaneously.
- The stress of caring for someone with Alzheimer's or Parkinson's is at a higher intensity and longer period than other situations, but also brings joy and connection with loved ones.
- Dementia caregivers need professional caregiver help to understand the neurodegeneration and progressive nature of Alzheimer's, Parkinson's and other diseases, and to help with their own burnout.
- Professional in-home caregiver services from Comfort Keepers provides older adults with expert care, helping adult daughters or sons with a trusted partner so they can have breaks, and spend more quality time and make joyful memories with their parent.
By Sherri Snelling, gerontologist and Comfort Keepers spokesperson
If you are a caregiver who belongs to the sandwich generation, you are performing a delicate balancing act: caring for children and older parents, maybe while also working. You stretch your time, energy and emotional resources thin and have little time for "me time" or self-care. The good news is, while caregiving can be disruptive, it is also one of the most powerful expressions of love. The key is finding ways to connect joyfully with aging parents, and being proactive in getting help so you can enjoy your time together.
According to the 2026 National Day of Joy survey conducted by Talker Research on behalf of Comfort Keepers, 93% of aging adults say being cared for by an adult son or daughter has brought them closer together, and 96% of caregivers in the sandwich generation say family comes first. The strength of these familial bonds is clear, but that does not mean you do not need support as you try to meet the needs of your children, your parents and yourself.
These pressures can become even more intense and complex when a parent is living with Alzheimer's disease, Parkinson's disease or another progressive, degenerative condition. Studies have found the intensity of dementia caregiving creates more stress, anxiety and depression, and these caregivers spend twice as long in their caregiving role. According to the Alzheimer's Association, dementia caregiving is an average of 9 years versus 4.5 years for other types of family caregiving. Caregiving becomes a marathon, not a sprint, creating the need for professional help to maintain your physical and mental energy.
How do I maintain my well-being while caring for my aging parent?
Caring for yourself is one of the biggest challenges for family caregivers. The additional time needed to care for someone with dementia or a neurodegenerative disease like Alzheimer's or Parkinson's while maintaining work-life balance and raising children makes the sandwich generation dementia caregiver sacrifice their own social, emotional and physical health. You may also be burdened with the stigma of diseases that affect the brain and avoid social interactions and conversations. Thus, you feel all alone.
This isolation means many adult children carry the entire caregiving burden alone, and feel they cannot or should not ask for help. Time is spent on physical and administrative caregiving tasks like tracking medical appointments, administering medications, managing insurance paperwork, getting groceries and prepping meals. What gets lost are the small moments of joy that really matter: enjoying a meal together, looking at old photos or sharing common interests like music, nature or crafts that create quality of life for the older parent and the adult daughter or son.
Companionship, favorite routines, conversation, activities and sharing moments of joy help an older adult feel connected and engaged.
To help sandwich generation caregivers get back to what matters most, here are common myths around caregiving, and approaches that help families thrive.
Myth No. 1: Mom or Dad is safe, so everything is OK.
Reality: Quality of life matters, too. Caregiving is not just about physical tasks and safety such as doctor appointments, preventing harmful falls and personal care. Social health and avoiding loneliness are equally important. Companionship, favorite routines and activities, conversation and sharing moments of joy help an older adult and the family caregiver feel connected and engaged.
Myth No. 2: I should be able to handle this myself.
Reality: Caregiver burnout is real. Creating your care team is critical. Many adult children assume care responsibilities gradually, until you are spending 20-40 hours of week on care tasks. This can lead to burnout and can negatively impact your relationship with your parent. Professional caregivers, such as the in-home care specialists at Comfort Keepers, can become a part of your family's care team before a crisis happens. With this professional help, you can take breaks to recharge and practice needed self-care, so you can be more focused on the emotional needs instead of the medical needs of your loved one.
Myth No. 3: We will get help when we really need it.
Reality: Getting help before your parent's care reaches a crisis can make the caregiving journey easier for everyone. Progressive conditions such as Alzheimer's disease and Parkinson's can affect memory, communication, mobility, mood, personality, daily routines and eventually activities of daily living such as eating, hydrating, getting dressed or bathing. Planning ahead gives families time to have necessary conversations about long-term care, find the right professional caregiver, establish familiar routines and create a care plan that can evolve along with their parent's needs and a family's finances.
Myth No. 4: Every visit needs to be productive.
Reality: Sometimes the most important thing is simply being your parent's son or daughter. Professional caregiving can take some everyday responsibilities off your shoulders, so your time with your parent is not always consumed by errands, household tasks and caregiving duties. By being "present," you enhance the emotional health of your parent and yourself.
How can I keep my relationship with my aging parent intact?
Caring for a parent with dementia, Alzheimer's and Parkinson's is emotionally difficult for family caregivers. Alzheimer's adults may forget your name or who you are, and they may become combative and physically lash out, especially if experiencing sundowning. A son or daughter of someone with Parkinson's realizes they may have frightening hallucinations and nightmares. All of this occurs in addition to their declining physical and cognitive abilities.
The Comfort Keepers survey reveals that daily joy for aging adults is rooted in the connection found in everyday life moments: sitting outside, enjoying morning coffee or engaging in meaningful hobbies such as reading, gardening, crafts and music. These moments foster consistency, independence and a sense of purpose. And they give the family caregiver a moment of calm in the midst of chaos.
For someone living with Alzheimer's or Parkinson's, these activities may need to be adapted as the condition progresses. A familiar song from their past, a simplified gardening activity, a short walk or time spent looking through family photographs can offer connection, comfort and a sense of purpose. The goal is not necessarily to do things exactly as before, but to find meaningful ways to meet the person where they are today.
For adult children, joy is found in everyday connection with aging parents. The survey also found nearly 3 in 4 (72%) say simple conversations bring the most joy, followed by sharing meals (68%) and helping provide care for them (67%). A whopping 95% of adult children agree older adults play an important role in creating joy within their families.
Where do I start looking for a caregiver?
Comfort Keepers understands the challenges families face when caring for a loved one with Alzheimer's disease or Parkinson's, particularly as their needs change. Specially trained caregivers can help them continue living safely and meaningfully at home through personalized care, familiar routines, companionship and activities tailored to their interests and abilities. Comfort Keepers can also educate families about their changing needs and provide support that engages them physically, mentally and emotionally.
Comfort Keepers provides in-home services like:
- Personal care
- Companionship
- Medication reminders
- Family respite care
- Comfort360™: A Complete Circle of Care
You do not have to choose between being a good parent, partner, employee and caregiver as you juggle your roles. Professional caregiving can help you remain your parent's daughter or son first. Getting professional caregiver help from Comfort Keepers means better quality of life for your parent and for yourself.
Learn more about support for your loved one at ComfortKeepers.com.
